About dating
**This is a bit of a sensitive topic and I'm not trying to be disrespectful in any way. If you get offended then most likely you misinterpretted something.**
I seem to have this problem in which I assume that if a girl does not sleep with me by the 3rd date, or at least lustfully kiss me, I start to feel that she's not interested.
Months ago, I had a conversation with someone I was dating and she said that it works the other way around. She said that if she's trying to keep the guy she won't sleep with him too quickly because she's trying to "play her cards right." The thing is, won't you do the same thing with a guy that you're not that interested in? That's why I really can't go on that "playing my cards right" ideology. I pretty much have no proof to go on that the girl is truly interested in me.
The thing is I feel shallow for having to need sex as proof of a woman's interest in me. Maybe it's that I want to know that she looks at me sexually too though. Maybe it's that I need to know I'm attractive to her. One can argue "She wouldn't be out with you if she didn't think you were attractive" but trust me, I've heard women say "I know he's not all that attractive but he treats me very well" and trust me, I DO NOT ever want to have that said about me, not even behind my back. I want her to be interested in me physically from jump; I don't want to be the exception. Perhaps I need the sex to know that she's not with me solely for my personality. I've said in the past that personality makes of breaks one's physical beauty but I'd hate to feel like she thinks of me as the "He ain't all that but I love his mind" type.I don't want it to be a lie whenever she tells me "You look so handsome" to my face yet tells her friends otherwise. If she'd tell her friends behind my back that she only loves my personality then turn around and say some shit like "You look handsome," that would be constituted as a lie, I don't give a dayum what anyone says.
I don't think that my ultimate goal is sleeping with anyone I date because I want to give any girl I date respect but there's something about not getting any that makes me feel like I'm wasting my time. Again, it's not that lack of sex is a waste of my time, it's that I feel like she's not showing interest, therefore I'd just be taking her out so she can get a free meal and a night out on the town. I'd like to think differently but I really have no idea where to begin with changing this characteristic. Sex is the best way of knowing she isn't playing me for a free expensive meal and free drinks at the club because she's showing me her intimate interests in me. Then again, one could say that women use sex as a tool to get what they want but trust me, I ain't bankin like that for a woman to use her body to get any money out of me, so the idea of a woman being a gold digger towards me is pretty much out of the question. I simply wouldn't be a good investment. I don't know...
Any guys ever feel like this? Please don't leave me hangin on this one, fellas. Like I said, I'm not trying to be shallow, it simply shows me that they are truly interested. Afterall, most good women won't sleep with a guy who's disrespectful or madd ugly to them shortly after having met him. Perhaps I can make the women understand this better by asking them to think of anything that most guys do after having gone out with you on a few dates to show you that he's interested. Now, imagine him not doing whatever that may be, including something intimate like a passionate kiss. Won't that make you think he's not interested when he very well may be? He just may be trying to "play his cards right" by not being too aggressive.
I seem to have this problem in which I assume that if a girl does not sleep with me by the 3rd date, or at least lustfully kiss me, I start to feel that she's not interested.
Months ago, I had a conversation with someone I was dating and she said that it works the other way around. She said that if she's trying to keep the guy she won't sleep with him too quickly because she's trying to "play her cards right." The thing is, won't you do the same thing with a guy that you're not that interested in? That's why I really can't go on that "playing my cards right" ideology. I pretty much have no proof to go on that the girl is truly interested in me.
The thing is I feel shallow for having to need sex as proof of a woman's interest in me. Maybe it's that I want to know that she looks at me sexually too though. Maybe it's that I need to know I'm attractive to her. One can argue "She wouldn't be out with you if she didn't think you were attractive" but trust me, I've heard women say "I know he's not all that attractive but he treats me very well" and trust me, I DO NOT ever want to have that said about me, not even behind my back. I want her to be interested in me physically from jump; I don't want to be the exception. Perhaps I need the sex to know that she's not with me solely for my personality. I've said in the past that personality makes of breaks one's physical beauty but I'd hate to feel like she thinks of me as the "He ain't all that but I love his mind" type.I don't want it to be a lie whenever she tells me "You look so handsome" to my face yet tells her friends otherwise. If she'd tell her friends behind my back that she only loves my personality then turn around and say some shit like "You look handsome," that would be constituted as a lie, I don't give a dayum what anyone says.
I don't think that my ultimate goal is sleeping with anyone I date because I want to give any girl I date respect but there's something about not getting any that makes me feel like I'm wasting my time. Again, it's not that lack of sex is a waste of my time, it's that I feel like she's not showing interest, therefore I'd just be taking her out so she can get a free meal and a night out on the town. I'd like to think differently but I really have no idea where to begin with changing this characteristic. Sex is the best way of knowing she isn't playing me for a free expensive meal and free drinks at the club because she's showing me her intimate interests in me. Then again, one could say that women use sex as a tool to get what they want but trust me, I ain't bankin like that for a woman to use her body to get any money out of me, so the idea of a woman being a gold digger towards me is pretty much out of the question. I simply wouldn't be a good investment. I don't know...
Any guys ever feel like this? Please don't leave me hangin on this one, fellas. Like I said, I'm not trying to be shallow, it simply shows me that they are truly interested. Afterall, most good women won't sleep with a guy who's disrespectful or madd ugly to them shortly after having met him. Perhaps I can make the women understand this better by asking them to think of anything that most guys do after having gone out with you on a few dates to show you that he's interested. Now, imagine him not doing whatever that may be, including something intimate like a passionate kiss. Won't that make you think he's not interested when he very well may be? He just may be trying to "play his cards right" by not being too aggressive.
The Saga was recounted at 11:49 AM
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